[real.fisch.stories]: [.all the signs.]

Here is another post I started while living at Lance's parents... I will add on to where I left off!

October 8th 2013
Since Kailee is napping, I should probably be doing the same thing. All I want is to sleep right now but all these thoughts are running through my mind.

First of all, there were a bunch of signs that I kept justifying in my mind up at deer hunt.

* I felt a little sick - probably because of all the junk I've been eating...
* My boobs are killing me - probably because I've started pumping every two hours again...
* I'm cramping - I'm almost done with my pills for this month...
* What the heck, I want alfredo pasta, not my usual chicken and veggies? - Something seems weird, there's no way!
* There another red dot on my stomach - can this be real??

The morning after we got home I went to the store to buy Kailee some teething medicine.

On the way to checkout I decided to buy a pregnancy test because I just KNEW I had to be pregnant.

Getting into the car I thought to myself...

There's no way...

Why did I just waste 5 bucks...

No, I KNOW I am...

Nah...

Maybe...

Why would I feel this way...

Nah...

I'll wait til Lance's birthday to tell him. That would be a crazy surprise...

No way...

I pulled into the drive way and went straight for the bathroom. Before I was even done peeing a little blue line appeared. I seriously started shaking. I ran downstairs yelling Lance's name. I stood in the room, still shaking, showing him the test as he was waking up.

Him: "How did that happen?"
Me: "I'm pretty sure we know how this happens!"
Him: "Don't be scared, it's okay, you can be happy."
Me: "A year and a half apart!"
Him: "Diapers at the same time!"
Me: "Yipee..."

I have an amazing husband.

I'm still not sure it is real. I have looked at the test every morning since. After throwing up the last two days it now seems more real, but still, not really.

It is incredibly hard to not say anything living at Lance's parents, let alone hide that I feel like crap and want to sleep all day long.

I'm not sure how far along I am but I have my first appointment a week from today.

Not sure if I just have conversations like this all the time or what but in the last week I've had to hold my tongue three times.

"There is NO way I could have another kid right now"
as I sit there,
"Uh..yeah! Me either" :/

-----------------------------------------------------
Today is now August 27, 2014.
Clayton is almost 4 months old at this point.

When we decided to tell people we bought Kailee a onesie that said "Big Sister" on it.

We went up to Randy and Jenny's house in Richmond for Halloween. Everyone was busy running around getting things ready for the party. I felt bad because I did not feel good and wanted to help but really all I felt like doing was sitting so I wouldn't throw up. I knew no one would really notice because they were all occupied. If we were sitting around the living room doing nothing it would have been a different story. Matt and Tori showed up a little later in the evening. No one had noticed her shirt yet. I caught glance at Tori and noticed that she saw Kailee's shirt. She looked at me and said, "Is that for real?" Or something like that. This is why I should have been blogging the last year! Because Tori's reaction is the only one I actually remember! Here were some bump shots during my pregnancy with Clayton.

12 weeks

16.5 weeks

20 weeks

Kissing his bicep ;)

32 weeks

36 weeks (Friday, May 2, 2014)

Friday night I went to Target to buy Lance and I a new comforter for our anniversary. We actually had wanted to go to Alaska for our 5th anniversary and go deep sea fishing. Instead, we bought a new home and had our second child ;)

I remember checking out and the cashier reminded me a lot of my brother Isaac. He said when he was finished with his shift he was going to go home, eat a butt load of food, and go to bed. I remember thinking, shoot, I'm going to do the EXACT same thing! Ha. Little did I know.

I got home from Target about 9:15.

Side note* During this whole pregnancy it was hard to workout because I would contract every single time I added any weight whatsoever to an exercise. Heck, I would contract even without exercise. Just going up the stairs would give me contractions. So any time I had contractions it seemed normal. End side note.

I went downstairs, put our new comforter on our bed and went to watch a movie with Lance. Got in bed about eleven o'clock. I remember looking at my phone at 11:08 when I decided to roll over and go to bed.

I was rudely interrupted at 11:45 with a contraction from hell! Rolled over, woke up Lance and told him that I just had a crazy contraction, we thought nothing of it. 11:55 pm, another contraction from hell.

Okay something was going on, I did not feel good and I knew I was in Labor. I turned to Lance again to tell him I thought that "this was it!"

He said, "You really think so? You've only had two contractions!"

"Yes, I KNOW so! Call Kevin RIGHT NOW!"

Jake and Jenna were our Plan A, but they were in Provo.

Lance's parents were our Plan B, but I knew I needed to be at the hospital IMMEDIATELY! Given the fact that I had Kailee within an hour of being at the hospital.

So we made up a Plan C.

Call Kevin and have him watch Kailee.

We got off the phone with him and were going to get the Pack-n-Play and take Kailee to Kevins house (3 minutes away).

12:04 another contraction and I was holding myself up against the wall in our closet shaking immensely.

I told Lance, "Call Kevin again right now and tell him to get here now, we don't have time to get everything to take to his house!"

I'm pretty sure on top of the insane contractions less than ten minutes apart, I was also having a panic attack. Which I have never experienced before. I was shaking. I felt like I was having the baby right now and I wasn't even at the hospital, hence the panic attack. Kevin got to our house about 12:15 and Lance and I were on our way to the hospital. By the time we arrived at the hospital my contractions were every 3 minutes.

Next time, if there is one, I will be telling the people at the hospital to skip all the stupid questions, get me in my gown, give me the *@$%!#* epidural and talk to my husband! ;)

I'm only slightly kidding.

By the time they checked me I was dilated to 6.5 centimeters. With Kailee I was an 8 so I thought at 6.5 I would at least have some hope with the epidural.

They gave me the epidural. I thought that meant that I would immediately stop feeling pain. Nope! They told me it would take about 15 to 20 minutes. Really, not that long in perspective. Except when you are contracting every 90 seconds. With every contraction I thought to myself, COME ON!! PLEASE STOP HURTING!

Apparently I have a "meditation-like" groan with every contraction. It was the only way to push through each contraction.

I remember telling the doctor that I felt like I needed to lift my legs. See, I still had feeling 2 minutes before he was born. The doctor told me that I was ready to push, but I still felt each contraction so I made up every excuse as to why I couldn't push. She told me that instead of pushing she would just check me. For some reason that made me feel better?? Who knows why! She said I was a 10+ and needed to push! My OB walked in the door, literally ten seconds later my water broke. One push away and my little man was born! Yup! Felt everything! The epidural finally kicked in for all the gruesome details! Thank goodness! That was the absolute worst part with Kailee!

Clayton Lance Fischer

May 3, 2014

2:35 am

5 lbs 12 oz

19 inches